Several years ago I was taking Advanced Constitutional Law. During the first class, we had a lengthy conversation regarding identity theft. People were waxing intellectual (as they often do in law school) until I raised my hand and announced:
"I live a pretty boring life. If someone wants my identity, he can have it."
Now, understand that I don't use my debit card. I like float. I charge everything (and I mean everything) and then pay my credit card in full at the end of every month. I hate cash and avoid using it. I don't believe in consumer debt. Creditors hate me, as they never make any money. How do I do this on my trying-do-be-a-do-gooder civil servant salary? Well, I try to live an ascetic life.
Despite the fact that I don't use my debit card (except for ATM withdrawals), a few years after my identity theft proclamation, someone charged $80 at a restaurant in California and $800 at The Children's Place at an outlet mall in a bordering state. I didn't buy children's stuff. I don't even like children. I think they're slimy.
Clearly, it was karma kicking me in the ass. Unlike with credit card companies, regular ol' banks don't like to grant provisional credit. They did not want to put the money back in my checking account. I had to yell and scream and stay on the phone for a very long time, and demand to speak to supervisors before the problem was fixed.
After that was fixed, I lived the good life for another year.
That year ended today.
I checked my credit card transactions online (because I'm just that anal). There was a charge for $9.48 for EST COMPANY; it was made on this past Saturday. I googled this "company." Nothing. I don't really care about the ten bucks all that much; but I don't dig unauthorized credit card use. So I called my credit card company. They canceled the card and are sending out another one. But in order to put the charge in dispute, I had to call the vendor's number (the vendor that's located in Boca Raton; it was a non-Internet purchase, and live nowhere near Florida, much less Boca). The number didn't connect.
So I called the company back and got the credit back. It was only ten bucks, so they didn't require an affidavit from me.
What is this mess?
It's karma. Again. Giving me a swift kick in the ass.
Moral of the story: Don't joke about identity theft. It'll come back to get'cha.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
"I don't even like children. I think they're slimy."
--funny, I have the same feeling about Lawyers.....
You know you do have readers and friends who do indeed have children. Who very well could be understanding of the fact that you don't have any maternal instinct and don't like children, and they would accept that but going on and calling children slimy, that is just pretty shitty to those of us who have children and adore them.
Maybe its best that YOU don't breed. You'r children would be brought up to be judgemental, opinionated, demanding,anal retentive & promiscuous.
To the anonymous poster with children:
The author of this blog expressed an opinion: "I don't even like children. I think they're slimy."
(which, incidentally, they should be - slimy, that is - if you're raising them correctly. Slimy kids are happy kids).
Do you often take personal offense to someone else's opinions?
Because you know what?
I'm not a big fan of celery.
That's right! You heard me! I don't like celery!
All you celery farmers out there... that's right, I'm talking to you, crunchy-stalks-growing bitch... you look out. I'm totally gunning for you. I want you out of a job. I want you dead. I want your family, dead. I want your house burned to the ground. I want your neighbors shot.
Because I don't like celery.
Amazing--out of an entire rant on karma, you picked one throw-away line -- Children are slimy.
Children ARE slimy. Especially little ones. They are also sticky, smelly and needy. Often (if you are lucky) they grow up to become articulate adults. Even lawyers.
By the way, I do not like celery either.
Anonymous:
Perhaps my children *would* be judgmental, opinionated, anal retentive, and promiscuous.
(Tangentially, you seem to get very angry angry and judgmental about my expressing an opinion. Gotta keep the hypocrisy in check.)
Perhaps all these things are true. And it's better that I don't breed. Because my children would be evil, vile little creatures.
But you know what?
At least they'd know how to spell.
Just remember, the less kids liberals have, the less liberals in America. Conservatives like me tend to have more kids, and we pass along our conservative views.
Conservatives like me tend to have more kids, and we pass along our conservative views.
Yes, but Jesus is coming back in a few years to stop the terrorists who want to force us to have gay marriages and buy hybrid cars and, you know, evolve 'n' shit rather than be intelligently designed in a day.
Or whatever the hell y'all believe.
I'm the product of conservative parents, anyway. My grandfather watches Fox News all day and my father subscribes to the Weekly Standard and has contributed heavily to the American Experiment folks.
I'm a rich white educated heterosexual first-born American male, yet gay-friendly, universal-health-care-loving, tax-my-ass-and-give-it-to-the-poor, keep-Christianity-out-of-my-government, save-the-environment, Jew-dating, and a Muslim no less!
This is what will happen to your 'conservative' children.
Boo!
Anecdotes don't mean anything. I am the child of liberal parents. More often than not, kids, politically speaking, hew to their parents views.
You know, I am also the product of very conservative parents. As is my sister.
We're both liberal pinkos.
How's that for anectodal?
Tangentially, recent statistics show that people under 30 are much more liberal than those older.
It was once an old saw that a Republican is a Democrat who moved to the suburbs. They also said that a conservative is a liberal who got mugged. I have not found that one to be true.
However, second-generation Cubans and other Hispanics are much more liberal than their parents. And they have lots and lots and lots of children.
Beware, conservatives. Beware.
Children are slimy. They come that way. As Ashiq Chris said, if they're happy, they stay that way.
As a mother of two slimeballs, I think it's better that you know you don't like slime now instead of creating said slime and then making that terrible decision and the kids knowing that they aren't wanted/liked.
Beautifully said, Merry!!!
Hi,
Any chance you found out more about that EST COMPANY? I just got a $9.45 charge from them on my corporate purchasing card. =(
Post a Comment