I've been trascribing seven years of old journals. You know, getting them on the computer just in case anything should happen to the books. This is my favorite entry so far:
April 18, 1994
It’s time I told the truth. It’s time I came clean. I’m really a space alien. I only pretend to be human. In reality, I am a loathsome, tentacled, squid-like creature. One look at my face would kill anyone with eyeballs. I’m that ugly. I also eat my boogers.