Thursday, April 24, 2008

Things that annoy me.

In no particular order.

1. People who don't use the Shift Key.
What I mean by this, specifically, is people who refuse to start sentences with capital letters. I realize that schools are no longer concerned with proper grammar or syntax. Apparently, it hinders creativity. But folks, seriously, you're not e.e. cummings. Drop the charade and muster up enough effort to place you finger on the damn Shift Key. Capitals and periods. It's pretty basic.

2. Ayn Rand.
Please, Ms. Rand, hit me with your 12-foot-long symbolism stick again. I'm not sure I caught it the first time. Just in case I may have missed something, please add a 50-page self-indulgent soliloquy into an already overly-verbose tome. Kill. Me. Now. Put me out of my misery. Ayn Rand is dated, useless drivel. If you were in college in the '60s and dig her, I'll grant concession. But if you're a 20-something self-described geek, dork, or literature maven, grow up. You are the equivalent of a trenchcoat-wearing poet. And those went out of style in the '90s when we were still teenagers.

3. Jewel.
'Nuff said.

4. Legislation mandating DNA samples upon arrest.
I have a better idea. Why not have everyone give a sample at birth? Especially the men. After all, every male is a potential rapist, right? Right? Apparently, the presumption of innocence no longer applies, so taking people's biological material is a-ok if we can justify the intrusion with the good ol' public safety rationale. Long live the Patriot Act. Huzzah.

To be continued...