It's true. Sex with me will make you live longer. And here's why. Apparently, having sex thrice weekly is the equivalent to running 75 miles per year. While that may seem like a lot, it really isn't. It's only about .2 miles per day, which will hardly keep you in shape. Thus, being hardly kept in shape will not make you live longer.
However, having sex once with me is really like having sex five times with a normal person. That's because I'm five times better at it than regular people. Thus, having sex with me thrice weekly is the equivalent to running 375 miles. Which would be like running a whole mile every day. That ain't bad.
Some (and I'm not saying who) have even alleged that I am ten times better at having sex than your average woman. That would be two miles a day if we had sex three times a week. Two miles a day! That'll definitely keep you living longer.
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