Playground antics.

When it comes to interpersonal relationships, has anyone really gotten past the playground antics we used to go through when we were younger? Not so much. It still goes on. "Hey Becca," a friend will say to me. "Don't tell anyone, but Bob and I have been sleeping together. I really dig him." But of course, nearly everyone already knows the goings-on involving Bob. In fact, Bob has already told his best friend Rob, who has told me everything before my friend has even opened her mouth. Invariably, my friend will ask me, "So do you think Bob is into me or is just using me for sex?" And being the good friend I am, I will disclose (while pretending to be far less involved than I am) that Bob has told Rob that he is SO into my friend.

How is this different from the intermediaries we used to use on the playground? Remember the conversations we used to have with our girl friends when we were twelve years old? "Becca, can you ask Joe if Fred likes me?" And of course, I had my own crush on Hypothetical Joe, Hypothetical Fred's best friend -- Fred, being the object of my friend's affection.

Then there were the notes passed in class. "Do you like me? Circle YES or NO." There was always the asshole who would pen in "MAYBE" and circle that instead. As grown ups, these folks are referred to as "married men" or "commitmentphobes." But they're the same as the cheeky maybe-writing-boys.

Seriously, people. This stuff does not change as we grow older. It just gets worse.