The Great Hoodie Caper.

I am convinced that there is a magical misfit out there. His commits all sorts of crimes. He is a nefarious creature. A drug dealer, gang banger, and thief. He is the lowest of the low, the bottom rung of humanity, lower and less intelligent than a single-celled amoeba. Less intelligent, even, than a horny, Republican law student (and second only to this man, they are the worst types of creatures out there). He sells drugs in school zones, he robs convenient stores, he beats his girlfriends and pimps them out to support his habit, he holds people hostage inside fast food restaurants. The amazing thing? He does all these things without ever getting caught.

His name is Hoodie Man.

Hoodie Man resides in high crime areas, where men wearing hoodies are virtually ubiquitous. And how does he avoid getting caught? He wears his hoodie during his crime sprees; people rarely see his hair or his face when he is in action. And when he is not committing crime, he takes his hoodie off. Which is why no one can ever recognize him.

So what happens? Some other poor chump who happens to be wearing a hoodie gets accused of Hoodie Man's crimes.

Hoodie Man usually wins, at least when it comes to pinning his crimes on other people. (We don't know whether he'd actually win at trial, since he's never been caught.) My poor clients who own hoodies get picked up again and again because of Hoodie Man's actions.

However, occasionally, I am triumphant. I received the judge's findings today on a recent motion to suppress. He allowed the motion, finding that because the only description given of a suspect was that he was wearing a hoodie, the police did not have reasonable suspicion to warrant a pat frisk of my client, who was only stopped because he was wearing a hoodie.

Take that, Hoodie Man.