Four years ago I thought that electric blue and stainless steel was the be all and end all in decorating. I wanted my world to be sterile and cold. Then on December 26, 2005, it all changed. I found myself at Pier 1 the day after Christmas. I'd never been a big fan of Pier 1, but the 75% off signs seduced me and drew me into the store. But what was this sale on? Christmas products, of course. And so I found myself walking out of the store laden down with a hundred dollars of 75% off red items.
What to do with all these red things? The answer was simple. Redecorate. Create a 1920s bordello. Become a madame for a harem of busty and scantily-clad women. So I went all out. Or at least I tried. Red lamps, red and gold curtains, candles, framed renderings of nude pin-ups, fringed pillows. Sadly, my ideas far surpassed my budget. And so I was left with a room with a lot of red and gold, and a red lantern hanging over my black futon in the living room. Hardly a bordello.
But now I have my chance. I am buying a house. It's structural integrity is intact. However, the living room floor is covered with brown sculptured pile carpeting. The wallpaper depicts some sort of brown and blue amorphous blobs. The wallpaper must be peeled down! The 1970s wall-to-wall must go! Now I have the opportunity. The opportunity to really go all out and finally create my bordello. Newly painted walls, rugs on my hardwood floors, and new furniture.
Sadly, however, I am horribly bad at anything artistic or visually aesthetic. Mike said he would help me. In the meantime, however, I'll gladly accept any decorating ideas.
1 comment:
Antiques.
They look good, create a warm, fuzzy ambiance (yes, I know beer does the same thing, but antiques won't make you stand in line at the loo) and are fun to shop for.
The best part is that they will actually be worth more than you paid for them in 20 years. All the best Bordellos have them.
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