Underwear and eBay.

When I was in college, I made lots of money selling undies on eBay. The premise was quite simple. "Sexy college co-ed used panties," I'd advertise. Then I'd buy a lacy thong at TJ Maxx, Marshalls, or some similar shop. Then I'd sell 'em for fifty bucks a pop. Each purchaser had specific shipping instructions. Some wanted the panties wrapped in tissue paper. Others wanted them freshly worn and packaged in an airtight, Ziploc baggie. I never did wear them. False advertising? Perhaps. But the skeezy men got their masturbation fantasies, and I got money. A good deal all around.

But no more. The Powers That Be over at eBay no longer allow the booming used underwear market to thrive. They no longer allow the selling of internal organs or children, either.

Even though I no longer embrace the entrepreneurial spirit I once had, I'm starting to realize that my eBay enterprise may have sparked something in me. I fear that I have an obsession with underwear.

Just this afternoon, I was pointing out panty lines in the courthouse to a male colleague of mine. It is common knowledge that I have a (perhaps unhealthy) penchant for stockings and corsetry. And just minutes ago, I explained to someone that I categorize my underwear as follows:

There's the "I should likely just throw these out because they're so old, but I'll keep them for those time when I REALLY don't feel like doing laundry, and it doesn't matter anyway because no one will ever see them" category. Then we have the "cute cotton panty" category, which were purchased at WalMart, and which no self-respecting women should wear -- cute turquoise briefs with words across the ass that say such things as "Purrrfect 10!" complete with a picture of a cat. Then we have the simple "thong" category (to avoid the dreaded visible panty line). "Boyshorts" and "sexy ones" round out the collection.

I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. This fixation cannot be a good thing.