I eat my own snot.
There. I said it. And it's true. I suppose it's something I should be ashamed of, but I maintain that if we weren't supposed to eat our own snot, then the body would not produce something so delicious. It's also quite amazing that we've found a way to survive on our own substances. It's not cannibalism. Not quite. It's more like drinking milk from a cow. Stranded on a desert island, would you rather die or subsist on your own mucousy goodness? Sorry, but if given that choice, I'm gonna go for the snot every time.
Not only do I eat my own snot, but I bite my nails. After I get those wonderful little half-moons off, I chew on them. For hours. I twist them around in my mouth, I chase them with my tongue, and eventually, I bite them into tiny, tiny, microscopic bits. Sometimes, I run out of finger nails to chew on. This, of course, is not a problem. When there are no fingernails left, I move on to my toenails. Before you "eeew" at me, consider how sexy it is that I can get my foot into my mouth. Yeah. I'm that good.
I do draw the line, of course. I do not eat other people's snot, nor do I bite other people's nails. Upon reflection, I don't suppose it would be all that awful. I mean, I've swallowed semen. I've had other people's tongues in my mouth. Feet aren't my thing, but if I met someone who was really into it, I don't suppose I'd be beyond suckling someone's big toe.
So I don't understand why people get grossed out by, say, sweat. At the gym. Or sitting down someplace in a skirt after some guy sat there before you. Have you never traced your lover's neck or bicep or chest with your tongue? There's all sorts of sweat there. And don't even get me started on the musky aromatic scents of male in the testicle region.
I am left with a simple conclusion: Women who freak out about germs and are easily grossed out are prudes. I am unashamed of my snot-eating. Nay, I embrace my snot-eating. After all, if a chick puts snot in her mouth, you can't even begin to imagine all the other kinky shit she'll do for you.
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3 comments:
i love snot stories and am a great fan of nostril excursions while driving. it's the experience of a lifetime!
Wow, you seem to be everything that I wanted! My dream! Somone who loves to eat snot and nails! Although you will not, quite understandly eat other people's snot, I assume you will quite enjoy sharing your snot and nails with someone? cairo20 at rediffmail. com
Hi there,
Hope you don't mind me writing on your blog,
My name is Nick Miller, I work for a TV production company in London, England. At the moment we are producing a show in which one of the stories we are covering is all about mucus eating. Sounds strange but we are talking to Dr. Friedrich Bischinger who champions mucus eating for it's health benefits and we are basing the story around this research.
Bascially we are looking to talk to people who enjoy eating their own snot. It's something that most people do and so we are looking at talking to those people who are able to say it out loud.
I would love to talk to you further about your post. If you could email me at nick.miller @ talkbackthames.tv then it would be great to talk and I'll tell you a bit more about the program etc,
Hope to hear from you soon,
Many thanks,
Nick Miller
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