The world of Internet dating can be a mighty dangerous place...

Alright. I admit it. I have a profile on OkCupid. Why? I'm not sure. In large part because it helped pass the time when I was working at a job that didn't have enough work for me to do. Now I enjoy logging on occasionally to take their assinine quizzes. Which is exactly what I was doing tonight when I got an OkCupid Instant Message. And what with my morbid curiosity to see what happens next, I responded. I have included the conversation below. I've left his screen name the same, but have changed mine for narrative purposes:

hott7inces: ur 3rd pic is super hott!

Me: Does that screen name work for you?

hott7inces: it may

Me: I don't believe you.

hott7inces: i dont know u why lie?

Me: I don't think women want to hop into bed with you because of your self-proclaimed "hot seven inches."

hott7inces: ok
hott7inces: lol

Me: In fact, I'd be willing to bet that most women are more disgusted by the shameless self promotion than anything else.

hott7inces: dont bet then hehe

Me: Can I ask you something?

hott7inces: sure

Me: What is it in my profile made you think I was a vapid idiot who would actually want an "nsa affair" with someone like you?

hott7inces: never know till uask u may be suprised
hott7inces: never judge a book by its cover hehe

Me: See, I thought I came across as a reasonably intelligent individual. You, however, seem like a common horny man with no manners. And I'm far from prude. But spare me the idiocy in thefuture.
Me: And learn how to fucking spell.
Me: Goodnight

hott7inces: ever hear of e shorthand

Me: are you actually really still talking to me?

hott7inces: gnite