Sunday, July 31, 2005

Picket fences.

For years I thought I wanted the traditional life: doting husband, 2.4 children, dog, station wagon, white picket fence.

Over time, my ideals changed. I imagined an urban fairy tale life of me, a wife, a husband, and a very closed community of other very close friends and comrades. And though what I wanted evolved, I don't think I ever thought I'd actually end up with what I want, but rather, with what I was supposed to want (see above). Then, all at once, the sort of relationship I'd evolved into wanting became a possible reality. I dove in. And now I've realized I can't go back to the picket fence ideal.

The problem?

Traditional social conventions are so easy and so convenient. The realization that I ought to end my quest for normalcy has left me with an overwhelming sense of discomfort.

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